DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
