I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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