You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
