I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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