how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My life is pants optional.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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