Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
