do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
