I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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