I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
