I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
