They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
bring money and cleavage
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
