So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
