Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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