we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
