What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
