It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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