do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
