HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
