ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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