I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
