He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
