I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize