Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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