Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
