I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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