What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
