found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
