i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
