He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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