don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
