yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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