I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
