I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
