AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
