I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
