Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize