idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
