i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
