Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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