She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So many bounce houses so little time
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
