Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
