Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize