I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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