You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's official drugs can't kill me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
