Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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