I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
