We're like a lot better than the average bears
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
