im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The air taste purple.
Randomize
