It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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