so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
