Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
