I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
