never play flip cup with pint glasses
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There r osticjed everywhere
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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