Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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