plz talk dirty to me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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