We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
as a side note pls kill me
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